Pac-Man vs Q*Bert
Description Pac-Man vs Q*Bert is Bobawins What-If Death Battle Season 1 Ep. 8 Pacman vs Q*Bert is Diegoampage What-If Death Battle Season 1 Ep. 2 Interlude Boomstick: Ah, the 80's. A time when we you had to pay 25 cents every time you failed in a video game. it was great. Wiz: Of these pricey games, two were dominating the market. Boomstick: Pac-Man, the yellow ghostbuster. Wiz: And Q*Bert, the orange circle with a trunk. Boomstick: He's Wiz and I'm Boomstick. Wiz: And it's our job to analyze their weapons, armor, and skills to see who would win a Death Battle. Q*Bert cue: https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=H8-ZgOAPIJw Boomstick: You may have not heard of Q*Bert because his game came out after arcades lost their popularity. Only until 2012, when the movie Wreck-It Ralph came to theaters, and put Q*Bert on the big screen. Wiz: He was also brought onto the big screen again with Pixels. Boomstick: Which wasn't handled that well... Wiz: Although Q*Bert seems harmless, he actually..... kind of is... BUT NOT COMPLETELY! Boomstick: Way to be positive, Wiz. Wiz: Q*Bert has some fighting attacks such as... Punching... Kicking... Shielding... Shooting Balls out of his mouth... Sucking things into his mouth... and that's it. Boomstick: That's it? Wiz: No. In Pixels he randomly turns into Josh Gad's Video Game Crush, Lady Lisa. Boomstick: Adam Sandler is really weird. Wiz: This means that Q*Bert can turn into Lady Lisa in the Battle. Boomstick: Wait, WHAT? WHAT THE FUCK? Wiz: Who said this had to be normal? This is Pac-Man vs Q*Bert we're talking about. Boomstick: True, but.... Q*BERT TURNS INTO A WOMAN? WHAT WERE YOU THINKING, SANDLER? Wiz: ....Anyways, Lady Lisa is a skilled swords-woman, and and is precise at throwing shurikens. Boomstick: So, is that it? Wiz: Yeah, there isn't much else to talk about. Boomstick: Well then, onto Pac-Man! Pac-Man cue: https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=EKUNLZIA1o8 Wiz: With Pac-Man, we have a bit more to go off of. He can charge up attacks, summoning fruit, bells, and keys. He also has a huge yellow ass. Boomstick: Those sure are some random items... Wiz: He can throw an inticing pellet, which he instinctively charges at. If you are in the way, too bad. He can also summon a spring from Mappy, which becomes less sturdy with stress. Boomstick: He keeps a trusty fire hydrant in his non-existent pockets at all times, however, only one can be on the battlefield at a time. ''' Wiz: If he gets a Smash Ball, he can grow to giant sizes. These sizes vary from large enough to eat people to large enough to eat cities. '''Boomstick: He can also shoot laser beams, slow down time, and summon bombs! Wiz: What? Boomstick: Pac-Man 256 for the win! #NotSponsered. Wiz: ... Anyway... Pac-Man has a pair of Wing Shoes given to him by a fairy, which give him unlimited flight. Boomstick: Hah, shoes that make you fly! It's what basketball companies have always been advertising but could never deliver! Wiz: ...Stop. Boomstick: Fine. Wiz: There's been a lot of confusion as to whether Pac-Man has arms and legs or not, but he can actually change his form at will. Boomstick: Pac-Man also has special gloves with the same technology as the ships from Galaga, allowing him to pull in foes from a distance. Wiz: As it's extremely slow, however, this grab is easily dodged, making punishment easy. Boomstick: If things really get serious, Pac-Man can eat a Power Berry (Not to be confused with a power pellet) for extra powers depending on the color. Wiz: The powers he can get from these are, among others, Fire, Ice, Titanium, and Magnet. Boomstick: A bit of trivia for you: his eyes are shaped like himself. HIS EYES. THEY'RE SHAPED LIKE HIMSELF. WHAT. THE. HELL. Pre-Fight Wiz: All right, the combatants are set, let's end this debate once and for all! Boomstick: IT'S TIME FOR A DEATH BATTLE!!! Fight! Q*Bert stood helplessly on the title screen of his arcade cabinet. He watched, as children crowded around the Pac-Man machine, stacking quarters, making bets on how far they would make. He remembered when he was that popular. LATER, IN THE HUB: Q*Bert aproached Pac-Man. Q*Bert (Translated from Q*Bertese): Hey, buddy! You're stompin' on my success! My salary! I don't take kindly to that. Pac-Man just kept walking. Q*Bert yelled, and spit a ball at him. Pacman: "Waka?" Pac-Man turned around. Pac-Man summoned an apple into his hand, and everyone in the hub stared. FIGHT! Pac-Man tosses the apple at Q*Bert, and Q*Bert sucks it into his trunk Q*Bert (With a muffled voice): That's the best you got? Q*Bert spits out a stream of apple seeds, and Pac-Man flies over them with his Wing Shoes. '' ''At the sound of gunfire from Q*Bert, all of the characters run into their arcade cabinets. '' ''Pac-Man drops a Fire Hydrant from above onto Q*Bert, but he rolls to the side. Q*Bert hops onto the Hydrant, turning it green, and then it disappeared. Q*Bert turned around at Pac-Man, and he was holding a key. Pac-Man sliced at Q*Bert, leaving a small scratch. Q*Bert shoots a ball at Pac-Man, and he eats it. Q*Bert suddenly turns blue, and suddenly fears for his life. He runs like he's never ran before, with Pac-Man on his tail Before Pac-Man can catch up, Q*Bert starts to glow. Suddenly, he's in his second form, Lady Lisa. Lady Lisa slices at Pac-Man, stopping him in his tracks. She Sparta-kicks Pac-Man away, and he lands next to a bomb power-up. Pac-Man rolls to the side, and is suddenly holding a giant bomb. He tosses it at Lady Lisa, but she stops it in mid-air with a shuriken. The bomb explodes, leaving a crater in the floor. Pac-Man and Lady Lisa stare each other down, when suddenly, a Smash Ball appears in the middle of the ruined hub. Lady Lisa lunges for it, but Pac-Man is faster. He tosses an orange at the Smash Ball, shattering it. With the power of the Smash Ball, Pac-Man eats two Power Berries, making him five times bigger. Pac-Man dashes at Lady Lisa, but she dodges to the side. Lady Lisa keeps on baiting and dodging, until the berries' effect wears off. When Pac-Man is vulnerable, Lady Lisa slices at him, but he uses his tractor beam to pull in a laser power-up from near he. He's a bit slow, receiving a scar across the face, but he grabs the power-up. He unleashes a giant laser on Lady Lisa, first melting off her skin, then her muscle, then burning the bones to ash. KO! As Pac-Man stands there, Mappy snaps a pair of handcuffs around his wrists. Conclusion Boomstick: JESUS CHRIST! Wiz: While Q*Bert matched Pac-Man in speed and strength, Pac-Man's abilities and powerups were just too powerful. Boomstick: Even without his Pac-Man 256 power-ups, the result would be the same. ''' Wiz: We could go on and explain more why this was a stomp, but let's be honest. Nobody wanted Lady Lisa to win. '''Boomstick: I guess Q*Bert couldn't stomach this battle. Wiz: The winner is Pac-Man. Next Time! Bobawins Next Time Amethyst is next! Diegoampage Next Time The Indominus Rex is next! Category:Bobawins Category:Diegoampage Category:Video Game Combatants Category:'Video Games' themed Death Battles Category:'Hero vs. Hero' Themed Death Battle Category:What-If? Death Battles Category:Completed What-If? Death Battles Category:'Video Games vs Movies' themed Death Battles Category:Arcade Coin-Op themed Death Battles Category:'Eponymous Characters' themed Death Battles